Monday, June 25, 2012

Has it really been 13 years?

June 25, 1999. Not my favorite day, but a day that I will remember forever. My mom was taken from me in not soo fun circumstances. I miss her. I think about her daily and remember her beautiful smile and her warm hugs. I remember her kisses and her love for me and the savior. She is missed by many people. I feel sometimes a really big void in my heart that can't be filled. I know she is constantly watching me and near me. I know she is in heaven holding my little babies, her sweet grandbabies that I thought she would be here to hold in her loving arms. But she's not. She’s in heaven holding them and loving on them until they come to us. I LOVE my mom and I miss her. While sitting in church today we started to sing "because I have been given much" which is my favorite hymn as well as my moms. I couldn't help but start to BALL in sacrament. It was terrible. Some years when her anniversary rolls around it's better than others. Sometimes it's just "woo, I really miss her today" or "I sure wish I could just go to McDonalds and have a Diet coke and a fish filet with her" and then theirs times like, "I can't stand to think that she's been gone for soo long, I don't think I should go into work today because I will cry at the thought of everything and anything" This year its number 3. I can't stand to even think about her, in her last days how sick she was, how I never wanted to go and see her at the hospital, because I knew she would look NOTHING like my mama...I regret that. But all I need to think about is all the good things I remember about her. Her smile, her hugs, her kisses and most of all her Diet Coke. I miss her and I love her. And I can't wait until I can see her again... I love you mom. Love, Beckie D&C 35:27 "Fear not little flock, the kingdom is yours until I come. Behold, I come quickly. Even so. Amen."


Mel said...

Love you! You're mom would be so proud of you and all that you have accomplished.